True Life Story (The Passing Of A Loved One)

I write blogs because I enjoy writing them, but recently I have not felt in the mood because I had a tragedy. My husband passed away on Feb. 4th, it was quick, me and my daughter saw him early that morning and I said goodbye to him as I headed to work, at around 11:30am he called me to talk about something and we both said we love you before we hung the phone up. At around 2:30 pm I was being told by my husband best friend that I needed to get to the hospital because he had passed out. I called his sister to see if she could go to the hospital and check on him thinking he just had a fainting spell. Well his friend came to my job and told me I needed to get to the hospital quickly, now I started to worry and called his sister who told me they would not tell her anything at the hospital and that they were waiting on me. So of course I left the job immediately picked up my daughter who was worrying about her father as well and on our way to the hospital I get a call from the sister who was in tears and saying get there get there immediately. Now I am in tears and my daughter is in tears and I called my brother who told me he will meet me at the hospital. As we jump out the car and go into the emergency room we are meet by my nephew who rushes us to the back to a room in which two of my sister husband meets us crying hard all while telling us he has pass on and my daughter collapse. I could not believe it and told them they must have the wrong person, have they actually laid eyes on him and his sister said they were waiting on me being the wife, the nurse come in and ask are we ready to go back and see him. The entire time we are following the nurse, my daughter holding on to my arm, I am thinking to myself this can not be him. His sister enters the room first and begins crying louder and I am immediately know it is him and my daughter who is next in the rooms runs out and I stand over his body thinking he is just asleep, he looks as peaceful as when he is asleep and I touch his body which still feels warm and I said to myself they are mistaken he is just asleep. One of his sister ask did they do everything possible to try and bring him back and they said yes, he was actually to far gone before reaching the hospital, he actually died in ambulance on the way to the hospital. I was overly shocked in disbelief but I also knew that my husband had heart disease and had triple bypass surgery in 2000. But in my mind he still had plenty of time to live and be with his family, it seemed so unexpected but then I began tracking his last days back in my mind. My husband died on a Wednesday, on that Monday he and me were down stairs watching television that evening and he ask me was I ready to go to bed and I said yes and upon going to get up, he said hold on I am having chest pains I need to sit back down a little bit, so I sit back down with him until he was ready. I had been working a lot of hours the last three weeks and had to continue working these hours, so every time I came home I was exhausted and I realized I was too exhausted to realize one of the signs as to him having that chest pain on Monday, I should have made him take on of his nitro pills and got him to the hospital immediately, something I did in 2000 and the doctor said I had saved his life. I feel guilty about not catching this sign like I did in the past and I feel guilty about working so hard that I did not realize how much my husband was doing for everyone else and not taking care of himself. I should have taken care of my husband, because he was the man who thought he needed to take care of others so him ignored his own needs. I want people to understand that you can help others but remember is you do not take care of you then you can not take care of others like you want because you can lose your life like my husband. He is no longer here to take care of his sisters, brothers or me because he did not take care of him. He was a man of many talents and help other solve their problems but now he is gone and we are left wondering what we are going to do without him, how are we going to fix our problems or get needed things done without his input of solutions, or his talented skills he had. My husband was very knowledgeable, he had mad gifted skills and it was not item he could not fix, question he could not solve, or make shift item he could not come up with. I said my husband was a McGuyver in disguise but a lot of his skill came from his military training in infantry. You make think about the hell someone has put you through over the years and I think I even wrote about his discretion, but all this does not over come the good times and everything is cleared and forgotten as soon as that person that was an important part of your life is no longer there. That is why people have to learn to forgive as I did and do it before that person is gone.